This is not the typical travel article but you know, it’s that time of the year when people are looking back to their past year, thinking about what it brought to their lives, or took away, what they are grateful for or proud of, the goals achieved and the lessons learned.
When I look back to my 2019 I think that the most precious things it brought me are some very valuable lessons. I truly learned a lot this year, some lessons that were obvious and I should have probably learned before, others that are maybe a little less obvious. Some things that I already knew but got to see from a different perspective and that struck me pretty harshly this past year.
The reason why I am writing this article is, first of all, to go over those lessons learned, repeat them firstly to myself. To make sure they stick. Then because you know what they say, the easiest way to truly learn something is by sharing it and teaching it to other people. And I am hoping you can take something away from this article.
Lesson 1: Less is better
I’m no minimalist but I learned a lot about this concept during this past year and I somehow started implementing it in some areas of my life. Although I developed a genuine interest in minimalism, it wasn’t until I had to move to a new country once more that I realized how useful it can be to become just a bit more of a minimalist.
I had changed countries before but this time it was different. In the past, whenever I had to move to a different city or country, I still had a home where I could leave some of my things. But this time it was different. I had lived in Portugal for more than two years and I decided to move to Germany. I had almost all my belongings with me in Portugal. Now I had no “home” where I could just leave some of my stuff. I had to pack as much as I could in two suitcases and go. And that was harsh.
I had to leave behind so many things. I gave away clothes to my friends and to charity, I tried to sell some bigger items and ended up leaving things behind in the last apartment I was in. In the end, I think I reduced my wardrobe by at least 60% and got rid of a lot of other things. That was when I realized how much better it is to have fewer things, especially for someone like me, that moves around quite often.
So when I moved to Berlin I put a break on the buying spree. I decided to stick to fewer clothes and items in general. As I said, I’m not even close to being a minimalist in the true sense of the word, but I own fewer things that I always use and that I really like. I followed a bit the Marie Kondo method. I even managed to get rid of the guilt associated with giving away things that had been gifted to me. It felt good and I have to say now I feel much better about my upcoming move. And lighter, literally and metaphorically.
Lesson 2: My actions can make a difference
At the beginning of 2019, I became more aware of the plastic pollution problem and more conscious of my own contribution to it. I slowly transitioned to a plastic-free (almost) life. I realized that the reason why I didn’t do much before was that, deep down, I didn’t believe it would matter. Also, I realized that probably that’s the reason why most people don’t do anything about these issues. So I started making different choices.
Over the months I reduced the amount of plastic I used and threw away, by probably around 90%. I also started talking about it, not trying to convince anyone but just talking about my experience. I realized that people around me actually listened and some of them started making changes in their own life. That’s when I realized that one person can actually make a difference, even if small.
It was a harsh transition, by the way. The more I tried to avoid plastic, the more I realized that it’s everywhere. And the worse I felt when I accidentally bought something wrapped in plastic. But I made peace with that as well. I realized, once more, that there’s no point in striving for perfection. More on this in another lesson I learned this past year.
Lesson 3: It’s not my job to fix anyone
This is a major one and it has been haunting me for a long time but it has never hit me so forcefully as this year. I always had a tendency to try and heal people. Maybe that’s also why I often attracted in my life people that needed healing. I just didn’t realize it was not my job to do that. Those people didn’t enter my life because they needed me to fix them.
This has been mostly related to my relationships and one in particular that ended this past year. Even when I did realize that I was trying to fix someone that didn’t want to be fixed, it was still hard for me to give that up. It still somehow felt like my responsibility. And it took a lot of willpower to give that up, to realize that it was not my responsibility. We can only fix and heal ourselves. For others, the only thing we can do is to be there, near them, to offer our support and understanding, even some advice when requested. But not to fix anyone. Especially if they don’t want to be fixed.
I think this is a hard one, especially for sensitive people that genuinely care about others, independently if they have a friendship or relationship or they barely know them. And even though I learned this lesson, I know that I will always have this tendency. I just need to transform it into something more productive and healthy, especially for myself. And I can still be of help to others in many other ways.
Lesson 4: Make decisions for my own wellbeing
This might sound obvious, right? Of course, we need to make decisions that make us feel good and happy, right? Well, I don’t know about you but I sometimes put other people’s happiness before mine and this has put me in some difficult situations. Like not being able to break up with someone, not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t want them to suffer. Crazy right?
Yet, when I look around me, I realize a lot of people do things because they think they have to or because they want to make other people happy or even because of social conventions. And as usual, sometimes it’s easier to recognize unhealthy behaviors in others rather than in ourselves. So this past year I had to take a hard look at myself and my decisions and I realized that I was not making the choices that made me happier. That my decisions were far from leading to my own wellbeing. And I wasn’t even doing much good to others either, even though I thought so.
So this is an obvious but tough life lesson I learned this year. Hopefully, from now on I will keep it in mind every time I need to make a decision. And I will ask myself “Is this for my own wellbeing and happiness?” If it’s not, then it’s probably not the right decision. Does this sound selfish? Maybe. But what good can we do others if we’re not doing ourselves any good?
Lesson 5: There is no “right moment”
I have wanted to quit my full-time job for more than a year but I didn’t do it because it was never the right moment. The truth is I never felt 100% ready for the leap. I always thought I needed to save more money or learn more skills or live somewhere else.
Then a series of changes happened in my life, leading me to move to another country and break up with my boyfriend and none of those things felt like they were happening at the right moment. Yet, I did them. And I realized I would never be 100% ready to become a freelancer. There would always be something missing. The “right moment” would never come. So I just did it. Because the “right moment” doesn’t exist. What exists is your motivation and will to make things happen.
If there’s something that you want to do but you’re waiting for the right moment, don’t. Just decide when the moment has come. There will be no alignment of the stars and planets that will decide, now it’s the moment to do that thing. If you wait for that perfect timing, you might never do that thing you want. So trust yourself, your intuition, and take a leap of faith. When you’re ready to do that, no matter the external circumstances, that’s your right moment. I think this is a truly valuable lesson, and the sooner we learn it, the more we can achieve in life.
Lesson 6: Let go of perfectionism
This is probably one of the biggest lessons of my life so far, and one I have to remind myself of every single time I want to do something that is important for me. Perfection simply doesn’t exist so wanting to achieve it is just unrealistic. There will always be something that I could have done better or someone that will not like my work. I just have to make peace with that.
My blog is one of those things I had to just do even though it was not perfect. And it’s so far from perfection. And for the longest time, I didn’t share any of the things I wrote with other people because I believed they were not good enough, that I could still make them better. This led me to endless projects that I started but never completed because it was not going to be perfect so why even bother to keep going?
This is something I have to face every time I write an article on this blog. I need to accept that it’s not perfect and it will never be and that some people might not like it. But that’s okay. At least I am doing something, and that’s better than not doing anything. And it’s the same in so many areas of my life. I am not perfect at the plastic-free life thing. I sometimes still buy that one thing that has some plastic packaging. But I am still doing way more than most people. So it’s okay if I’m not perfect at it.
Lesson 7: Travel more
This is just to move the conversation to a lighter tone. And after all, this is mainly a travel blog. It’s not necessarily a lesson I learned in the past year but 2019 has been a year when I traveled more than ever before and it has truly made me realize how good it makes me feel. It’s like therapy, just you don’t get to sit on a couch and talk to one person. Instead, you get to see new places, walk and run and hike and experience things. You get to meet new people and try weird new dishes. You get to live fully, get out of your comfort zone, learn more about the world and about yourself.
I wrote a whole article on the reasons why I travel so I will not go into much detail here. I will just say that nothing makes me feel better and more alive and every little trip brings me unbelievable joy and emotions. It’s like a universal cure for heartbreak and sadness and disappointments and anxiety. It heals my soul and my mind and makes me a better person in the process. It makes me more aware and compassionate and open. Ultimately, it makes me grow.
If you read until here, first of all, thank you. You’re probably one of the few people that did. And if there’s any lesson that you learned from this article, anything that you experienced yourself or even that you disagree with, I would love to hear it. So feel free to leave a comment or contact me.
Have a great year ahead, filled with love, success, health, achievements, money, amazing relationships and hopefully travels.
